Cannibalizing The Useful Staff

Corporate Cannibals


A large corporation recently hired several cannibals.

“You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please - don’t eat any of the other employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you morons ate the secretary?”

A hand rose hesitantly.

“You fool,” the leader continued. “For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NO-OOOOO… you had to go and eat someone important!”


QuotaBills
Example is leadership. - Albert Schweitzer

A leader is a dealer in hope. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Strong people don't need strong leaders. - Ella Baker

Monopoly is business at the end of its journey. - Henry Demarest Lloyd

I'm not a businessman. I'm a business, man. - Jay-Z

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse. - WC Fields

There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch. - Joseph Addison

Boldness in business is the first, second, and third thing. - Thomas Fuller

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. - Mark Twain

Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed. - Bruce Springsteen

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

The boss says, 'Go', the leader says 'Let's go!' - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

Business is like a wheelbarrow - it stands still until someone pushes it. - William Feather

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

There is only one certainty in business: You can't succeed if you quit. - Darren Hardy

Seest thou a person diligent in their business? They shall stand before Kings. - Proverbs 22:29

Leadership is intangible, and therefore no weapon ever designed can replace it. - Omar N. Bradley

Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them. - John C Maxwell

It takes hunger, tenacity and commitment to see a dream through until it becomes a reality. - John C Maxwell

I had popcorn all over the place, so I decided I might as well be in the Processing Business. - Orville Redenbacher

Leadership is all about influence and everything rises and falls on leadership... everything. - John C Maxwell

The heart of good leadership is sacrifice. If you want to grow an organization - grow leaders. - John C Maxwell

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

The masses are in reality their own leaders, dialectically creating their own development process. - Rosa Luxemburg

One of the most important tasks of a manager is to eliminate his people's excuses for failure. - Robert Townsend

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but the careers of those who work for him. - H.M.S. Burns

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

The difference between being a manager and being a leader is that managers understand staff and leaders understand people. - Peter Legge

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Focus on the core problem your business solves and put out lots of content and enthusiasm, and ideas about how to solve that problem. - Laura Fitton

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand. - General Colin Powell

Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control. - Tom Landry

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Business  Section
Canada - World Leader of Northern-ness
Cheerless Leader
College in a Nutshell
Dog Marathon
Duckling Dog
Follow The Leader
How Is Your Day Going?
Indian Weather Forecasting
Leading a Remote Life
Leading By Example
Moroff Manager
Ring Leader
Self Confidence
Street Cheerleader
Yoga Leadership

 

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22-Oct-2019