Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”
Education is the apprenticeship of life. - Robert Willmott
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
Lifelong learning is the great equalizer. - Unknown
Logic is neither science nor an art, but a dodge. - Benjamin Jowett
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. - Buddha
Life can be fun if you learn to enjoy the adventure. - Unknown
Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella
Let the others have the charisma. I've got the class. - George H.W. Bush
Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas
The minute you're not learning I believe you're dead. - Jack Nicholson
Wise people learn when they can.
Fools learn when they must. - Arthur Wellesley Wellington
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A man must learn to endure patiently what he cannot avoid conveniently. - Michel de Montaigne
Your mind is your instrument. Learn to be its master and not its slave. - Unknown
Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. - Charles M. Schulz
It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs
I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful. - Natalie Portman
There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams
Education: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. - Ambrose Bierce
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. - Kurt Vonnegut
People ask how I feel about getting old. I tell them I have the same question. I'm learning as I go. - Paul Simon
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. - Albert Einstein
The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump
Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown
We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do. - Samuel Smiles
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman
Law of Emotion
Periodic Table Shower
Redneck Engineering Exam
Science Fiction Recipes
The Ig Nobel Awards
Who Needs Physics?
Men's Wedding Photos
Suddenly An Oven
Redneck Shower Head
I Finally Know Why
Finally Got The Sink Fixed
Surprise Party At The Zoo
First Dodge Ram
All Bottled Up
Maybe We Should Play Inside Today