Little Johnny’s Worm Experiment

Ask Johnny where the experiment went wrong


Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.

So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”




QuotaBills
In doing we learn. - George Herbert

Be quick to learn and wise to know. - George Burns

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. - Ernest Rutherford

How do I learn to speak when silence is all I know? - Susie Clevenger

I hate it when Wikipedia copies my entire homework. - Unknown

Life can be fun if you learn to enjoy the adventure. - Unknown

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. - Winston Churchill

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. - Isaac Asimov

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. - Sydney J. Harris

Wise people learn when they can.
Fools learn when they must. - Arthur Wellesley Wellington

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. - Richard Branson

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Believing you know it all will guarantee you learn nothing - and achieve even less. - Unknown

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. - Gen. Colin L. Powell

People ask how I feel about getting old. I tell them I have the same question. I'm learning as I go. - Paul Simon

The audience, upon learning that the real Buffalo Bill was present, gave several cheers between the acts. - Buffalo Bill

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

If I'm ever to reach any understanding of myself and the things around me, I must learn to stand alone. - Henrik Ibsen

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

Failure is instructive. People who really think learn quite as much from their failures as from their successes. - John Dewey

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next ten. - Neil A Armstrong

All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is. - Donald Trump

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Meditation here may think down hours to moments. Here the heart may give a useful lesson to the head and learning wiser grow without his books. - William Cowper

You learn you can do your best even when it's hard, even when you're tired and maybe hurting a little bit. It feels good to show some courage. - Joe Namath


see also   School  Section
Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements
Atom Trust
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Chimera Genetics
Comprehending Engineers
Einstein Seeds
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Famous Equations
Genetic Science
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman
Law of Emotion
Nitrate
Periodic Table Shower
Professor Kisses
Redneck Engineering Exam
Science Fiction Recipes
Science World
Scientific Hunting
Singapore SkyPark
The Ig Nobel Awards
Who Needs Physics?
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23-Apr-2019