Mother Popeye

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Most mothers are instinctive philosophers. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. - Jewish Proverb

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? - Milton Berle

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama