Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies

 

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station

Haunted Pancakes

No Neck

Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Oct-2019