The Perfect Dress

Best way to rehearse for a dress run


Julia’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement. Her mother, who had recently gone through a nasty divorce, had just found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Julia was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Julia asked her step-mother to exchange it, but she refused.

“Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied peevishly.

Julia told her mother, who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

That weekend, Julia and her Mom went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Julia asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!”


QuotaBills
No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William Thackeray

Perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another. - Douglas McGrath

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. - Frederick the Great

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remaining brotherless. - Italian proverb

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson

You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you. - John Wooden

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. it means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. - Unknown

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

I don't care how many beauty treatments you have, I don't care which bag you're carrying - you have to have a dress. - Vivienne Westwood

There is no perfect solution to depression, nor should there be. And odd as this may sound, we should be glad of that. It keeps us human. - Lesley Hazelton


see also   Clothing,  Shopping  &  Wedding  Sections
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Wedding Dress Dog Train
Wedding Dress For Sale

 

Marital Rating Chart - Husband

Advantage of an Extra Long Straw

Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Mar-2019