The Perfect Dress

Best way to rehearse for a dress run


Julia’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement. Her mother, who had recently gone through a nasty divorce, had just found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Julia was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Julia asked her step-mother to exchange it, but she refused.

“Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied peevishly.

Julia told her mother, who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

That weekend, Julia and her Mom went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Julia asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!”


QuotaBills
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

You don't have to be perfect to be brilliant. - Mark Eyre

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

I'm a nobody; nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect! - Unknown

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. - Welsh Proverb

Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - William D'Avenant

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result. - Oscar Wilde

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. - Frederick the Great

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

There is no perfect solution to depression, nor should there be. And odd as this may sound, we should be glad of that. It keeps us human. - Lesley Hazelton


see also   Clothing,  Shopping  &  Wedding  Sections
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Wedding Dress Dog Train
Wedding Dress For Sale

 

Waffle Board

Shark Week Birthday Cake

Life Cycle of a Chicken

Daily Trivia G

Guard Dog For Sale

Used Cows For Sale

Shark Tricyle

Florence Time

Changing Priorities

Pinocchio Playground

This Rocks

Halo to the Holy Dog

Lamp Post For Sale

Lost Cat

How Twins Are Made
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Jul-2017