The Perfect Dress

Best way to rehearse for a dress run


Julia’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement. Her mother, who had recently gone through a nasty divorce, had just found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Julia was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Julia asked her step-mother to exchange it, but she refused.

“Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied peevishly.

Julia told her mother, who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

That weekend, Julia and her Mom went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Julia asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!”


QuotaBills
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

You rarely meet a wino with perfect pitch. - George Carlin

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

I'm a nobody; nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect! - Unknown

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. - Welsh Proverb

Perfect love means to love the one through whom one became unhappy. - Soren Kierkegaard

A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I don't care how many beauty treatments you have, I don't care which bag you're carrying - you have to have a dress. - Vivienne Westwood

William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit? - Jarod Kintz

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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23-Jan-2018