Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Legal Assistance For All
Chinese Law School
Do Not Stack
How Not To Prop Start Your Plane
Wild Game Nutrition Guide
Definition Of A Good Friend
Redneck Car Repair