Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Everything Is OK
Zipper Scar Tattoo
Swiss Army Mega Tools
Law of Emotion
Eiffel Tower Modifications
Star Wars Episode VIII
You Guys Make Me Sick
Chu Your Food Well
Men's Wedding Photos