St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?


Q:  What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A:  Paddy ’O’Furniture.

Q:  What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A:  A sham rock.

Q:  Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A:  Because they wear green.

Q:  When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A:  When it’s a French fry.

Q:  What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A:  Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.

Q:  Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A:  The red ones were in the wash.

Q:  Why is an Irish river rich?
A:  Because it has two banks.

Q:  What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A:  A Jolly Green Giant.


QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
 

Loch-Risti Weather Forecasting Stone

Skateboarding Duck

Hospital Gown Insurance

Mobile Swamp Home

Spring Rolls

Circle Stroke Bikes

Sad TP

Concrete Guestrooms

Spiderman Face Cup

Tick, Tick Good Buddy

Waterfront Icons

Redneck Backhoe Operator

Shanty Town, New Zealand - Potty Pic

Modern Love Affair

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24-Mar-2019