St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?


Q:  What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A:  Paddy ’O’Furniture.

Q:  What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A:  A sham rock.

Q:  Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A:  Because they wear green.

Q:  When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A:  When it’s a French fry.

Q:  What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A:  Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.

Q:  Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A:  The red ones were in the wash.

Q:  Why is an Irish river rich?
A:  Because it has two banks.

Q:  What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A:  A Jolly Green Giant.


QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
 

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16-Jul-2019