Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Row Your Goat
Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1
Bridge Claimed Another One
Thin Polar Bear
They Found Your Balls
Hard Working Cop
Cattle Herding in Africa
How Bachelors Kill Moths