St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?


Q:  What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A:  Paddy ’O’Furniture.

Q:  What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A:  A sham rock.

Q:  Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A:  Because they wear green.

Q:  When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A:  When it’s a French fry.

Q:  What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A:  Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.

Q:  Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A:  The red ones were in the wash.

Q:  Why is an Irish river rich?
A:  Because it has two banks.

Q:  What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A:  A Jolly Green Giant.


QuotaBills
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
 

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How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

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Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock
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24-May-2019