CEAD MILE FAILTE ROMHAT!

A Hundred Thousand Welcome To You!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all our Irish Friends!


The Fert
You have to know Robbie Burns poetry (Ode To A Mouse) to understand this one!

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
stert workin like a gentle breeze
but soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a’bodys gonnae have tae pay
even if ye try to stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
tae try and stop the leakin air
shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
oot it comes like a clap a thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
tae the bog I better scurry
aw whit the hell, it’s no ma worry
A’body roon aboot me chokin
wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusin glower
alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’re ye go let yer wind gan’ free
sounds like just the job fur me
whit a fuss at rabbie’s perty
ower the sake o’ won wee ferty

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

Grandma's Remedies

Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Lane Closure

SUV Sinkhole

Symbol Sudoku Puzzles

Why Such A Big Handbag?

Double Vision

World's Ugliest Dog

Bike Ferris Wheel

Redneck Restaurant

Redneck Sandals

Friends Stick Together

Computer Bread

Safety Nap

Gate Crasher - How NOT To Stop Your Car
Submissions by Bryan HarrapFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

22-May-2017