Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Reasons to stay single

Should you get a dog or have children?



Couch Dog

Paint Shop Pro Boys Covered In White Paint

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France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


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24-Sep-2017