Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly

 

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21-Jun-2018