Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly

 

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No Neck

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Look Both Ways

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Dog Haircut

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21-Oct-2019