Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Irish Bar
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies

 

Goliath Hawg

Water Walkers - Part I

Snail Time

Jews: The Revenge

UNinvolved

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Manitoba Thunderstorm

Reaching The Ocean

Chipotie Burger

Spotter Dog

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles E

Come Quietly Please

Surf-In Lunch Snack

Piranha on Steroids

Car Moochanic
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

28-Jul-2017