Engagement Rings

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Good intentions are not enough. They've never put an onion in the soup yet. - Sonya Levien

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf