Engagement Rings

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf