Floor Refrigerator

Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

Home is not where you live but where they understand you. - Christion Morgenstern

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now. - Bob Newhart

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

We can't win at home, we can't win away. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. - Jock Brown

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright