When Men Shop For Groceries

Setting the stage for Conscious Uncoupling

Shopping lists are a piece of cake for guys


“Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had avocados.”


If you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again!
Men will get it the first time...

QuotaBills
Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Food,  Marriage,  Relationship  &  Shopping  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Instead Of Flowers
Kenwood Chef
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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22-Aug-2019