When Men Shop For Groceries

Setting the stage for Conscious Uncoupling

Shopping lists are a piece of cake for guys


“Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had avocados.”


If you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again!
Men will get it the first time...

QuotaBills
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle


see also   Food,  Marriage,  Relationship  &  Shopping  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Instead Of Flowers
Kenwood Chef
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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24-May-2019