Winter Parking Ticket

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

In New York, everybody looks great and is well dressed, but seeing someone in Ohio wearing Marc Jacobs is like spotting an owl in Central Park. Rare. - Isabel Gillies