Webster’s First Dictionary

An alternative to talking to the wife

How to get along with your wife

Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

see also   Language,  Marriage  &  Relationship  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Man’s Life
A Woman’s Hands
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
When Men Shop For Groceries


St. Patrick's Pot of Gold

Irish Flu Shots

The Fert

Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!

Hanging Out With Friends

Irish Birth Control

Philosophy of House Cleaning

Flooded Ireland Streets

PacMan Road Crossing

Born To Be Wild

Going Green for Ireland

Trooper Tape

Mega Samurai Puzzles B

Queen's Recent Visit to Ireland

HandyMen Teamwork

Wee Shamrock

Irish Bar

Irish Weather Forecasting

Sea Girl

Irish Flood
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