Webster’s First Dictionary

An alternative to talking to the wife





How to get along with your wife

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Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby


see also   Language,  Marriage  &  Relationship  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Man’s Life
A Woman’s Hands
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
When Men Shop For Groceries

 

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15-Oct-2018