Webster’s First Dictionary

An alternative to talking to the wife





How to get along with your wife

QuotaBills
A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner


see also   Language,  Marriage  &  Relationship  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Man’s Life
A Woman’s Hands
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
When Men Shop For Groceries

 

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16-Jan-2018