Laxative Cream Pie

Mom’s secret recipe for flatulent dessert



Mom's secret recipe for Laxative Cream Pie

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football ...

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. - Jay Leno

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee


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22-Jun-2018