Laxative Cream Pie

Mom’s secret recipe for flatulent dessert



Mom's secret recipe for Laxative Cream Pie

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football ...

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. - Jay Leno

Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man called Doc. - Edward Abbey

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee


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29-May-2017