Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answers Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that! Get off the bike.”
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, who crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every week for three years. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his Corona and says, “Bicycles.”
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. - Steven Wright
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem
There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur
A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck
Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle I have hope for the human race. - H G Wells
We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein
Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright
He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp
It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop pedaling. - Claude Pepper
A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield
I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson
I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright
I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes
The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner
Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
People are often quite surprised by the sport and leisure activities practised by the blind. For example, tandem cycling is very popular. - Andrea Bocelli
In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama
Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden
Cycling & Police Sections
African Pit Bull
Border Agent Alert
Border Patrol At Its Finest
Comfortable Guard Dog
Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs
Guard Dog For Sale
Guard Dog Security - How Fast Can You Run?
Hay For Sale
Is There Life After Death?
Jam Packed Suitcase
Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs
Russian Guard Dogs
Scottish Ticket Avoider
UFO Caught On Tape
Who Needs a Guard Dog?
Wiener Dog Safety
Taco Bell Secret Seasoning
Are You OK?
Annual Meeting of Women Drivers
The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character
Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball