Doctor’ed Birthday Cake

Special cake topping for the wife’s birthday

For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:

You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.

Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”

It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:


Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

On my 85th birthday, I felt like a 20-year-old. But there wasn't one around. - Milton Berle

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

see also   Birthday,  Doctor  &  Marriage  Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake


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