Doctor’ed Birthday Cake

Special cake topping for the wife’s birthday


For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:

You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.

Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”

It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:

YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.


QuotaBills
Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale


see also   Birthday,  Doctor  &  Marriage  Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake

 

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15-Dec-2017