Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

The twelve notes in each octave and the variety of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust. - Igor Stravinsky

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton


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22-Oct-2017