Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile. - Bertand Russell

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

The twelve notes in each octave and the variety of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust. - Igor Stravinsky

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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23-May-2017