Who Said History Was Boring?
Most people
got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty
good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers
to hide the body odor.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege
of the nice clean water, next all the other sons and men, next the women and finally the
children; last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose
someone in it; hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs (thick straw) piled high, with no wood beneath. It was the only
place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs)
lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip
and fall off the roof; hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in
the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up a bed. A bed with big
posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection; hence canopy beds came into
existence.
The floor was dirt, and only the wealthy had something other than dirt; hence the saying
"dirt poor."
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet; so they
spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they
kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping
outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entryway; hence a threshold.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the
fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the
pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in
it that had been there for quite a while; hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas
porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came
over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could
bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit
around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of
the lead to leak onto the food causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often
with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the
family got the middle, and guests got the top or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them
out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and
prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days, and
the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait to see if they would wake up;
hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small, and the local folks started running out of places to bury
people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse
the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch
marks on the inside, and they realized that they had been burying people alive. So they
thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin, up
through the ground, and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard
all night...."the graveyard shift"... to listen for the bell; thus, someone
could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."
Whoever said that History was boring?