Kid's Comments
When the
mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal
crackers he had begged for, then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen
counter.
"What are you doing?" his Mom asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.
"I'm looking for the seal."
Good Morning Folgers Coffee
A grandmother
was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning - he had made her coffee. She drank
what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three little green army men in the cup.
She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in
your cup!'"
Kitten Litter
A
three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens
and two girl kittens."
"How did you know that?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
Aging Accessories
While working
for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"
Bird's Last Rights
While walking
along the sidewalk in front of his church, a minister heard the intoning of a prayer that
nearly made his collar wilt. His five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box of
cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Faaaather. And unto the soonnn... and into the hole he
gooooes."
Wasted Education
A little girl
had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"