[Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word “God” is mentioned... kids in Arizona wrote the following “NEW” School prayer...]
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.
We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They’ve outlawed guns, but “FIRST” the Bible.
To quote the Good Book, makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the “unwed daddy,” our Senior King.
It’s “inappropriate” to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such “judgments” don’t belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments aren’t allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
God is love, but get it in writing. - Gypsy Rose Lee
I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader
Friends are God's apology for relatives. - Hugh Kingsmill
Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. - Mark Twain
Man discovers truth by reason only, not by faith. - Tolstoy
Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown
History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee
Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown
I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire
Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. - William Newton Clark
Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. - Mary McLeod Bethune
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. - Genesis 1:31
I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God. - Albert Camus
Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher
It's not dying for faith that's so hard, it's living up to it. - William Makepeace Thackeray
God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars. - Elbert Hubbard
There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody
It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. - Jane Wagner
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth
It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero
Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller
Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25
If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments. - Zig Ziglar
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? - Mark Twain
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
Religious & School Sections
Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Breakable Postal Package
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Da End Iss Near
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Halo to the Holy Dog
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
Please Help My Car
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
One At A Time
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Redneck Speed Bump
Studley Tool Chest
Shopping With Your Husband
Math Lab Bust
Redneck Winter Tires
Costco Beach Towel
Down Under Statue
Random Acts Of Kindness (RAK) Day
Enjoy The View
Locks Of Love
So You Want A Day Off
Save A Tree