Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
All's fair in love and war. - John Lyly

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war. - William Randolph Hearst

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken

The United States has much to offer the Third World War. - Ronald Reagan

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it. - Desiderius Erasmus

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory. - Adolf Hitler

Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

He's talking another war, an old war, ya know, 1812, the one between the states. - Archie Bunker

I still believe that love is all you need. I don't know a better message than that. - Paul McCartney

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts. - Brigitte Bardot

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. - Fidel Castro

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. - Oscar Wilde

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat


see also   Army,  Military  &  Stress  Sections
German Coast Guard
German Efficiency
German Electrician (PG)
German Forest
Grouchy German
HeidleBurger
Rare Photo of 1940 Tour de France
Urgent World War I Message
Young German Fan

 

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito

Cow Photobomb

Commas Save Lives

Never Give Up

Girl Sitting or Boy Hugging?

The Domino's Effect

Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake

Fear Of Light

Maiden Rock Illusion

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Noodle Art

Windows Scoreboard
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Aug-2019