Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
My life is my message. - Mohandas Gandhi

How is it possible to have a civil war? - George Carlin

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells

A war for a great principle ennobles a nation. - Albert Pike

Of all times in time of war the press should be free. - William Borah

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

The United States has much to offer the Third World War. - Ronald Reagan

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. - Jeanette Rankin

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it. - Desiderius Erasmus

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

It is well that war is terrible. We should grow too fond of it. - Robert E Lee

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

I just want you to know that when we talk about war we're really talking about peace. - George W Bush

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

Maybe I couldn’t be dafter,
But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. - Ogden Nash

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat


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25-Mar-2019