soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just
point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the
handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German
soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More
Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang!
Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward
him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate.
“Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”
It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”
What happens when both sides have no weapons...
All's fair in love and war. - John Lyly
In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky
If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells
Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown
He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy
In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley
You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war. - William Randolph Hearst
Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken
The United States has much to offer the Third World War. - Ronald Reagan
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch
France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle
War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it. - Desiderius Erasmus
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove
Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump
War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu
World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will
When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory. - Adolf Hitler
Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway
He's talking another war, an old war, ya know, 1812, the one between the states. - Archie Bunker
I still believe that love is all you need. I don't know a better message than that. - Paul McCartney
When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith
A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson
Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey
I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton
It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light
Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts. - Brigitte Bardot
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein
In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump
Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. - Fidel Castro
We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. - Oscar Wilde
I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat
Army, Military & Stress Sections
German Coast Guard
German Electrician (PG)
Rare Photo of 1940 Tour de France
Urgent World War I Message
Young German Fan
Fire Truck Sinkhole
I Sea Drums
Statue of Libertea
Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito
Commas Save Lives
Never Give Up
Girl Sitting or Boy Hugging?
The Domino's Effect
Wedding Pound Cake
Fear Of Light
Maiden Rock Illusion
Why Men Shouldn't Babysit