Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

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My life is my message. - Mohandas Gandhi

The medium is the message. - Marshall McLuhan

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A war for a great principle ennobles a nation. - Albert Pike

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. - George Orwell

A war still rages over the legacy of the 1960s. - Camille Paglia

You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war. - William Randolph Hearst

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. - Albert Einstein

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. - Jeanette Rankin

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. - Thomas Mann

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. - Unknown

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

You can't say civilization don't advance... for every war they kill you a new way. - Will Rogers

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war. - Ernest Hemingway

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. - Oscar Wilde


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22-Oct-2019