Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery

A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

He's a well-balanced individual - he has a chip on each shoulder. - Unknown

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison

see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks


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