Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

He's a well-balanced individual - he has a chip on each shoulder. - Unknown

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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16-Sep-2019