Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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16-Jul-2019