Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

He's a well-balanced individual - he has a chip on each shoulder. - Unknown

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I think it's my adventure, my trip, my journey, and I guess my attitude is, let the chips fall where they may. - Leonard Nimoy

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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19-May-2019