Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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15-Oct-2018