Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Desmond Tutu

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. - The Book of Common Prayer

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. - Mario Buatta

The dust of exploded beliefs may make a fine sunset. - Geoffrey Madan

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy


see also   Religious  Section
Church Dinner
Little White Lies @ the Ladies’ Bake Sale

 

Puppy Wheels

Extension of Life

Redneck Porch

World's Ugliest Dog

Hidden Cell Phone Tower

Artistic Chair

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles C

Stealth Birdhouse

Airplane In Suds

Bicycle Built For Two

Love Thy Neighbour

High-Wire Act Violin

If You Work Hard

Whose Problem

Redneck Tank Top

Alien Pastry

Minion HotHead

Bacon Beer Mug

Daddy, Can I Ride It?

Daily Trivia I
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24-Apr-2018