Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Excuse My Dust - Dorothy Parker

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

Dust thou art, to dust returnest. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Desmond Tutu

The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. - Mario Buatta

The dust of exploded beliefs may make a fine sunset. - Geoffrey Madan

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. - George Burns

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen


see also   Religious  Section
Church Dinner
Little White Lies @ the Ladies’ Bake Sale

 

Manitoba Spring Day

Catch Up With Jesus

Forgotten Easter Eggs

Broken Egg

Stuffed Bunny

Egg Couch

Pocket Bunny

Colour Car

The Resurrection

What's In Easter?

Texas Easter Bunny

Easter Elephant Eggs

Ancient Shiloh

Easter Egg Hunt

Chocolate Easter Bunnies

Did You Say Happy Easter?

Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law

Easter Yolks

Easter Cats

Egg Hatch Breakfast
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21-Apr-2019