Chair Boy

Little Johnny finds a new way to cut class

Can he make the leap from ChairBoy to ChairMan?

Something tells me this kid won’t end up at the top of his class





QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Boy: a noise with dirt on it. - Unknown

When I grow up, I want to be a little boy. - Joseph Heller

When a boy's coming into poobertyhood. - Archie Bunker

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache. - WC Fields

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

See how the boy is with his sister and you can know how the man will be with your daughter. - Sioux Proverb

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. - Tom Clark

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk. - Stephen King

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

Somewhere beyond the sink-hole, past the magnolia, under the live oaks, a boy and a yearling ran side by side, and were gone forever. - Marjorie K. Rawlings

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Emergency,  Ouch,  Safety  &  School  Sections
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20-Feb-2019