Hillary’s Baby

Running for President on a pregnant platform


Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant.

She is furious - here she is in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, “Did you hear me?”

Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Political  &  Royalty  Sections
America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Hillary’s First Night As President
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

Milking Time On The Farm

Chain Mail

Lunch Break

Wash Day On The Farm

High Tide Heels

Frozen Fish Meal

Stork Exhaust

I 'Saw' An Accident

Protractor Cook

Street Genius

Rebar Walker

No Worries

Road To Success

Politician Training

Math in Africa

Customers Wanted

Sock Storage

Hung Out To Dry

Need More Horsepower?

Japanese Diving Platform
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

23-Feb-2019