Hillary’s Baby

Running for President on a pregnant platform


Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant.

She is furious - here she is in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, “Did you hear me?”

Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”


QuotaBills
Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Political  &  Royalty  Sections
America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Hillary’s First Night As President
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

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22-Apr-2019