Hillary’s Baby

Running for President on a pregnant platform


Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant.

She is furious - here she is in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, “Did you hear me?”

Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joe-k. - Will Rogers

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Political  &  Royalty  Sections
America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Hillary’s First Night As President
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf

Heavy Sleeper

So Close

Economy Flight

StandOut Island

Poor Fishing Day

Is Your Diaper Full?

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Moving Level Pro

Plain Plane School

Wireframe Dog

SUV Sinkhole
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Aug-2019