Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

There's a deception to every rule. - Hal Luyah

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Nature provides exceptions to every rule. - Margaret Fuller

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Many people set rules to keep from making decisions. - Mike Krzyzewski

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. - Atticus Finch

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


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21-Apr-2019