Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Many people set rules to keep from making decisions. - Mike Krzyzewski

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. - Edith Ronald Mirrielees

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

My Golden Rule of Networking is simple: Don't keep score. - Harvey Mackay

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Paul Ehrlich

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

It's my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it. - Sean O Casey

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle. - Unknown

There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it. - Mario Cuomo

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


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20-Sep-2019