Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Nature provides exceptions to every rule. - Margaret Fuller

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

You want to invent new ideas, not new rules. - Dan Heath

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Men are governed only by serving them; the rule is without exception. - V. Cousin

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H L Mencken

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. - Atticus Finch

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W Somerset Maugham

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

I have made it a rule never to be with a person ten minutes without trying to make him happier. - Unknown

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown


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20-Aug-2018