Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Nature provides exceptions to every rule. - Margaret Fuller

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Cambell

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself. - Latin Proverb

Men are governed only by serving them; the rule is without exception. - V. Cousin

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

I believe in rules. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? - Leo Durocher

It's my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it. - Sean O Casey

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. - Atticus Finch

I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don’t treat me right – shame on you. - Louis Armstrong

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. - Rene Descartes

As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see. - Julius Caesar

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it. - Mario Cuomo

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


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19-Jun-2019