Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

When passion rules, she never rules wisely. - Ben Franklin

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

It's a poor rule that won't work both ways. - Frederick Douglass

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Paul Ehrlich

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use. - William James

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

It's my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it. - Sean O Casey

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W Somerset Maugham

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it. - Mario Cuomo

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan


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13-Dec-2018