1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7.. Be more or less specific.
8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should
be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost
The rules are written by the bureaucraps. - Archie Bunker
Nature provides exceptions to every rule. - Margaret Fuller
I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown
When passion rules, she never rules wisely. - Ben Franklin
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid
If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn
I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau
Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser
I never had a set of rules. Every situation is different. - Red Auerbach
Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. - Edith Ronald Mirrielees
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
My Golden Rule of Networking is simple: Don't keep score. - Harvey Mackay
You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry
Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown
The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today. - Lewis Carroll
Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain
I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W Somerset Maugham
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden
Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown
Language is our meeting place, the sea we live inâ€¦it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
I have made it a rule never to be with a person ten minutes without trying to make him happier. - Unknown
If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb
Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney
Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader
Language, Redneck & School Sections
Ain’t Peter’s Place
Back In Five Minutes
Basic Rules of English Spelling and Grammar
Beware of Atlanta Fountain Equiptment
Books Never Written
Chinese to English Translation
Commas Save Lives
“Do Not Read” Sign
Do Not Read Law
Does A Double Positive Equal A Negative?
Double Negative Education
English Teacher’s Hospital Greeting
Eye Halve A Spelling Checker
Graffiti Removing Graffiti
Hide And Sikh
I Like Cooking
Inglish Spikkers Welcom
Just Because You Are Right
Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!
Lhasa Them in Tibet
Little Johnny’s Beautiful Examples
Little Johnny’s Weather Forecast
Noisy Japanese Women
One Thousand Words
Open Too Long
Oredr Of Ltteers In a Wrod
Practice Safe Text
Punctuation Is Importanter
Read Your Book Case
Secruity Parking Spot
Testing Your French
The Importance of Correct Punctuation
This Is A Window
Why Germans Don’t Play Scrabble
Win A Free Ride
Woman Without Her Man
World’s Greatest Typo
Your In America
World's First Laser Pointer
First Computer Cursor
The Great Depression
East Coast Winter Graffiti
How To Argue With A Woman
Wings Fans Are Ruthless
Netherlands Parking Lot
Model T Snowmobile
Tower of Hammocks
Family Birthday Reminder