Newfie Lawn Rolls

Owshegettinonb’ys?

What a Newfie does when he wins the lottery



Two men from Newfoundland were waiting at the bus stop when
a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.
Sheamus said, “I’m gonna do dat when I win da lottery.”
“What’s dat den?” asks Mikey.
“Send me lawn away to be cut.”

Newfie Lawn Rolls

QuotaBills
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. - Michael Pollan

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.' - Talmud

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffet

One of my favorite things to make is homemade sushi. I know how to make the rolls and it's really fun to do. - Carly Rae Jepsen

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway


see also   Lottery  &  Newfie  Sections
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First Shipment
First Toronto Newfie
Garden of Eat’En
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Newfie Big Foot Syndrome
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Newfie Parkin’ Only
Newfie Parking
Newfie Speak
Newfie Swimming Pool
Newfoundland Digital Clock
Newfoundland Icebreaker
Newfoundland Is For The Birds
Ottawa White Smoke
Where To Find The Trees In Newfoundland

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23-Jun-2017