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Beat the lottery odds - alcohol gives you a greater chance to not go to work tomorrow

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Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


see also   Bartender,  Inspiration  &  Lottery  Sections
Christmas Lottery Gift
Found The Jackpot
If The Elves Win The Lottery
Little Drinking Problem
Lucky Monkey
Odds of Winning a Canadian Lottery
One Beer A Day
Scratch Lottery Tickets
Winning Lottery Numbers

 

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22-Oct-2019