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Beat the lottery odds - alcohol gives you a greater chance to not go to work tomorrow

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


see also   Bartender,  Inspiration  &  Lottery  Sections
Christmas Lottery Gift
Found The Jackpot
If The Elves Win The Lottery
Little Drinking Problem
Lucky Monkey
Odds of Winning a Canadian Lottery
One Beer A Day
Scratch Lottery Tickets
Winning Lottery Numbers

 

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23-Feb-2018