Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Hard work is the best remedy for all of life's trials. - Unknown

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy. - Chinese Proverb

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
Working Past 65

 

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19-Jun-2019