Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. - Jacqueline Schiff

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. - Alonzo Clark

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
Working Past 65

 

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21-Apr-2019