Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy. - Chinese Proverb

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
Working Past 65

 

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24-Aug-2019