At My Age I Need Glasses

If you see red and white, have a glass of both





Some things age the same as wine
Have your eyesight checked for a fine bouquet

QuotaBills
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

No one has rosier glasses in hindsight than a successful person. - Trevor Hartl

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


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19-Oct-2018