Girlfriend Math

What to do with twice your savings

Q: How do you make a small fortune?
A: Start with a large fortune.

Marry money. - Max Shulman

God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller

Money is just an idea. - Robert T. Kiyosaki

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

A billion dollars is not what it used to be. - Bunker Hunt

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. - Steven Wright

One hundred million dollars is way too much to pay for Microsoft. - Unknown

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan

see also   Friend  &  Relationship  Sections
Definition Of A Good Friend
Digging Up A Date
Fallen Friend
Fat Friend Prayer
Friendly Neighbour
Morning Breath - From Man’s Best Friend
Returning the Stinky House to the Ex-Wife
“Time To Quit” Friend


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