Government Measurement

Flagpole math for labourers


Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “but we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”
She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down. She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all’ woman?” he said. “We need the height and she gives us the length!”

Ray and Bob are still working for the Government.


QuotaBills
I was playing a character. - Paris Hilton

Lead, follow, or get out of the way. - Thomas Paine

Lead the audience by the nose to the thought. - Laurence Olivier

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

Mediocrity is excellence in the eyes of the mediocre. - Joseph Joubert

Integrity is the one thing a leader cannot do without. - John C Maxwell

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

A man's manner to a certain extent indicates his character. - Samuel Smiles

A person's character is but half formed till after wedlock. - Charles Simmons

If you want to lead the people, you must first speak to their eyes. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way. - Henry Miller

Without initiative, leaders are simply workers in leadership positions. - Bo Bennett

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

Making mistakes reveals human nature. How one deals with them reveals character. - Unknown

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. - Vince Lombardi

You can only go as high on the leadership ladder as your character will allow you. - John C Maxwell

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Be your character what it will, it will be known, and nobody will take it upon your word. - Lord Chesterfield

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

Leadership is all about influence and everything rises and falls on leadership... everything. - John C Maxwell

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Leadership is getting someone to do what they don't want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve. - Tom Landry

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence. - George Washington

Don't be accusing me of taking a bribe. You know what they call that, "definition of character." - Archie Bunker

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life - is the source from which self-respect springs. - Joan Didion

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Integrity will take a leader farther than any other quality. If you would travel far and do much as a leader, never compromise your integrity. - John C Maxwell

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. - Norman Vincent Peale

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


see also   Dubm,  Feminist,  Government  &  Work  Sections
City Work Crew’s Slow Day
Government Snow Plow
Management Team - Leading by Example
Men At Work
New Manager’s Crisis Envelopes
The New Flagpole
Tired Flagpole

 

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17-Jan-2018