Government Measurement

Flagpole math for labourers


Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “but we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”
She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down. She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all’ woman?” he said. “We need the height and she gives us the length!”

Ray and Bob are still working for the Government.


QuotaBills
I do. That is character! - Theodore Roosevelt

Perfection is impossible. Excellence is not. - Rob Feenie

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence. - Joseph Krutch

The great hope of society is individual character. - William Ellery Channing

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. - Kin Hubbard

Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself. - Rita Mae Brown

Character is the real foundation of all worthwhile success. - John Hays Hammond

The only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it. - John Cleese

If you don't have enemies, you don't have character. - Paul Newman

A person's character is but half formed till after wedlock. - Charles Simmons

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion. - Aristotle

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair

The confidence of ignorance will always overcome indecision of knowledge. - Unknown

Character builds slowly but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness. - Faith Baldwin

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

The world may take your reputation from you, but it cannot take your character. - Emma Dunham Kelley

Leadership is intangible, and therefore no weapon ever designed can replace it. - Omar N. Bradley

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

We all lose our looks eventually, better develop your character and interest in life. - Jacqueline Bisset

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. - Edmund Burke

Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character. - Albert Einstein

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no others are, and to do what no other can do. - William Henry Channing

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself. - Cicero

Misfortunes, untoward events, lay open, disclose the skill of a general, while success conceals his weakness, his weak points. - Horace

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. - Oscar Wilde

The quality of a person's life is directly proportional to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor. - Vince Lombardi

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey


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20-Jun-2018