Government Measurement

Flagpole math for labourers


Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “but we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”
She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down. She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all’ woman?” he said. “We need the height and she gives us the length!”

Ray and Bob are still working for the Government.


QuotaBills
Character is destiny. - Greek Proverb

I do. That is character! - Theodore Roosevelt

Character, not circumstances, makes the man. - Booker T. Washington

Only the prepared speaker deserves to be confident. - Dale Carnegie

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. - Albert Einstein

The essential thing is not knowledge, but character. - Joseph Le Conte

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - Unknown

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others. - Hasidic Proverb

Nothing of character is really permanent but virtue and personal worth. - Daniel Webster

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Unknown

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. - John Wooden

There are many kinds of joy, but they all lead to one: the joy to be loved. - Michael Ende

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Character and personal force are the only investments that are worth anything. - Walt Whitman

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. - Frank A. Clark

When you work the buttons here, see, it develops what ya call the digitalis skills. - Archie Bunker

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character. - Albert Einstein

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Don't be accusing me of taking a bribe. You know what they call that, "definition of character." - Archie Bunker

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

I want to try doing sportier things, kite surfing and paddle surfing - I think it would give me that extra confidence. - Vanessa Hudgens

Misfortunes, untoward events, lay open, disclose the skill of a general, while success conceals his weakness, his weak points. - Horace

I think Mr. Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around. - Homer Simpson

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. - Oscar Wilde

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato


see also   Dubm,  Feminist,  Government  &  Work  Sections
City Work Crew’s Slow Day
Government Snow Plow
Management Team - Leading by Example
Men At Work
New Manager’s Crisis Envelopes
The New Flagpole
Tired Flagpole

 

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30-May-2017