Government Measurement

Flagpole math for labourers


Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “but we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”
She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down. She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all’ woman?” he said. “We need the height and she gives us the length!”

Ray and Bob are still working for the Government.


QuotaBills
Character is what you think in the dark. - Dwight L. Moody

Character is much easier kept than recovered. - Thomas Paine

Lead the audience by the nose to the thought. - Laurence Olivier

Happiness is not the end of life; character is. - Henry Ward Beecher

Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise. - Woodrow Wilson

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others. - Hasidic Proverb

On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell

The President is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will happen. - Dan Quayle

Before you tell anyone to 'be yourself', reassess his character. - Unknown

I was always a character actor: I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood. - Paul Newman

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. - Peter T. Mcintyre

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching. - John Wooden

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your reputation is what you’re perceived to be, Your character is what you really are. - John Wooden

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

Character is, in the long run, the decisive factor in the life of individuals and of nations alike. - Theodore Roosevelt

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

The real test of your character is your treatment of those who can be of no possible service to you. - Unknown

One who understands much displays a greater simplicity of character than one who understands little. - Alexander Chase

Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life. - John C. Geikie

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself. - Cicero

I would solve a lot of literary problems just thinking about a character in the subway, where you can't do anything anyway. - Toni Morrison

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor. - Vince Lombardi Jr.

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

There is a difference between conceit and confidence. Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done. - Johnny Unitas

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


see also   Dubm,  Feminist,  Government  &  Work  Sections
City Work Crew’s Slow Day
Government Snow Plow
Management Team - Leading by Example
Men At Work
New Manager’s Crisis Envelopes
The New Flagpole
Tired Flagpole

 

Windmill Guitar

Cute Puppy

Golf Like I Do

Sharkalanche

Shark Bike

Peace Foot

Jet-Powered Barbecue

Ukraine Skype

Redneck Pole Support

Who Lost The Keys?

Thirsty Snake

Yolkswagon

Chess Sudoku Puzzles B

Coca Cola Twins

Kayak Tours for Lunch and Dinner Guests

Barbecue Pickup

BTTF II Car

I Love Pet Food

Gay Dog

Shark Week in the United Kingdom
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

24-Jul-2017