Birth Control Pill For Men

Better than the alternative



Doctors have just created a new birth control pill for men.

I think that’s fair. It makes a lot more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest...



QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins


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26-Sep-2017