Birth Control Pill For Men

Better than the alternative



Doctors have just created a new birth control pill for men.

I think that’s fair. It makes a lot more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest...



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The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E. Leonard

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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24-Jul-2017