Birth Control Pill For Men

Better than the alternative



Doctors have just created a new birth control pill for men.

I think that’s fair. It makes a lot more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest...



QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. - Spike Milligan

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I blinked and I cured my brain. That's how. Everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. - Charlie Sheen

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins


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18-Nov-2017