“Choose A Urinal” Challenge
The Unwritten Code Of The Urinals

Take the first annual, 'Choose A Urinal' Challenge!

Men should ace this test... women are on their own. There IS a code of the restroom
that MUST be followed.

Below is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
A person below the number will indicate “in use.”

Your mission is to identify correctly, based on proper urinal etiquette,
the stall at which you should stand. Good luck!

 

Easy Section

Urinals 2 and 4 are occupied.

 


 






 Where would you stand?

:

:

:

:

:

:

The correct answer is 6. It's the ONLY one
to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.

 

 

Urinal 1 is occupied.

 


 






 Where would you stand?

:

:

:

:

:

:

The correct answer is 6. Stall 5 is acceptable, but you
run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

 

 

Kind of Tricky Section

No urinals are occupied.

 


 






  Where would you stand?

:

:

:

:

:

:

The correct answer is 1 or 6. By choosing one of these,
you are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."

 

 

Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied.

 


 






   Where would you stand?

:

:

:

:

:

:

The correct answer is 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it.
Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.

 

 

Subtle, Tricky, but Important to Know Section

Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.

 


 






   Where would you stand?

:

:

:

:

:

:

The correct answer is 4. Believe it or not, 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2.
And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way
that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!

 

 

VERY Tricky Indeed Section

Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.

 


 






    Where would you stand?

:

:

:

:

:

:

The answer is NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or
straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD,
use a stall with a door!

Other Parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.

I don't think I need to tell you, but absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is the highest offense.

NO Singing. Period.

Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only...
"Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."

Who'd have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?

see also   Bathroom  &  Bad Gas  Sections

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