Aunt From Desert Storm

End of story morals


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.





QuotaBills
The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues. - Cicero

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

I write to keep in contact with our ancestors and to spread truth to people. - Sonia Sanchez

Those who inherit fortunes are often more troublesome than those who make them. - African Saying

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin

It is a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. - Plutarch

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

All his successors gone before him have done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may. - William Shakespeare

Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. - Peter Gallagher

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

What ya eat ain't got nuttin' to do with how old ya are. That all depends on your ancestors. It's what they call a matter of heresy. - Archie Bunker

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde


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16-Jun-2019