Governmentium
Heaviest chemical element discovered

The National Research Council (NRC) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 234 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it normally would take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years: it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.


see also   Government,  Language  &  Politics  Sections
Administratium - Heaviest Element Discovered
Daffynitions
New Element in the Periodic Table

 

Just Checking

Is This What You Think I Look Like?

Pirate X-ray

Moving Day in Texas

Australia 101 For Tourists

Rich Kid On The Block

X-Factor Sudoku Puzzles

Scenic View

Secondhand Vegetarian

Pencil Shavings

Culinary Breakthrough

Young or Old Swimmer?

Israeli TSA

Caffeine Boosters

Helicopter Mother Load

Parking Privilege

Sorry

Chicken Rider

Creative Charity

Woodcutter Birthday Cake
Submissions by Warren RalstonFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

26-Apr-2017