Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


see also   College,  School  &  Redneck  Sections
2 Pi Watch
Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math

 

Mid Road Parking Spot

Heavy Sleeper

Redneck Water Barge

Chicken Shoes

Texas Cobra Boots

Beware of Falling Rock Signs

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles A

Maritime Treat

Car Gas Wash

Impassable Road

Baseball Chair

It's All About Attitude

Friendly Neigh-bours

Stratus Sphere

iBola

Rust-ic Truck

Handicap Swing

How To Become A Pirate

Baby Sidecar

Sudoku Sampler D
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-Oct-2017