Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

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