Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer


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19-Aug-2018