Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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23-May-2019