Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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17-Nov-2018