Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann


see also   College,  School  &  Redneck  Sections
2 Pi Watch
Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math

 

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf

Heavy Sleeper

So Close

Economy Flight

StandOut Island

Poor Fishing Day

Is Your Diaper Full?

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Moving Level Pro

Plain Plane School

Wireframe Dog

SUV Sinkhole

Wireless Doorbells Sitting On Their Chargers
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Aug-2019