Teacher: “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba: “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”
Teacher: “What is a proof?”
Bubba: “One-half percent of alcohol.”
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson
Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert
Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith
I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann
Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya
Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen
When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert
It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero
You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick
Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown
Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert
Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith
I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann
Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya
Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen
When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert
It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero
You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick
Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown
see also College, School & Redneck Sections
2 Pi Watch
Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math
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23-May-2019 |