Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

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