# Redneck Math

## Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

QuotaBills
Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

2 Pi Watch
Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math

 Rooftop Steps It's Not My Job Mathematician's Truck Redneck Baby Stroller Redneck Estate Sale Blonde Car Mirror Corn Maze Warning Lane Closure Texting For Dummies Clever Weather Billboard Tree Huggers Australian Construction Security India Road Assistance Cow Walking Cultural Exchange Meowzart Bonus Baby Strawberry Heart Water Skiing in Russia Plumber's Party