Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

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