Teacher: “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba: “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”
Teacher: “What is a proof?”
Bubba: “One-half percent of alcohol.”
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young
Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon
Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann
Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra
Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson
For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert
If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown
For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus
Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer
Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon
Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann
Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra
Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson
For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert
If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown
For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus
Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer
see also College, School & Redneck Sections
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Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math
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19-Aug-2018 |