Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
“How long will this take?” I ask.

“They will grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

With this, I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts larger over the years?”

Without missing a beat he says, “Worked for your butt, didn't it?”

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man...