Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Unknown

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
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25-Apr-2019