joe-ks.com

Redneck Dictionary
Learning to speak Redneck

AH:  The thing you see with, denoting individuality.
Usage: “Ah think Ah’ve got somethin’ in mah ah.

ALL:  A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.

ARE: Possessive case of “we” used as a predicate adjective (?)
Usage: See “RATS”

AST:  To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal moonshine stills.
Usage: “Don’t ast me so many question. It makes me mad.

ATTAIR:  Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire.
Usage: “Pass me attair gravy, please.

AWL:  An amber fluid used to lubricate engines.
Usage: “Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl.

AXE:  To question someone.
Usage: “If anyone axe you why, tell them it’s ’cause the dash don’t be silent!

BAHS:  A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!

BARD:  Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.

BAWL:  What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
Usage: “That gal cain’t even bawl water without burnin’ it.

BLEEVE:  Expression of intent or faith.
Usage: “Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday.

BOB WAR:  A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.

CENT:  Plural of cent.
Usage: “You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn’t give fiddy cent for it.

CO-COLA:  The soft drink that started in Atlanta and conquered the world.
Usage: “Ah hear they even sell Co-cola in Russia.

CYST:  To render aid.
Usage: “Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma’am.

DAYUM:  A cuss word Rhett Butler used in “Gone With the Wind.”
Usage: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a dayum.

DID:  Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.

EAR:  A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: “He can’t breathe... give ’em some ear!

ETLANNA:  Atlanta... Hotlanta to the locals.

EVERWHICHAWAYS:  To be scattered in all directions.
Usage: “You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways.

FAR:  A state of combustion that produces heat and light; a conflagration.
Usage: (1) “Ah reckon it’s about time to put out the far and call in the dawgs.
(2) “If my brother from Jawjuh doesn’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.

FARN:  Not local.
Usage: “I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country.

FIX:  To take steps in anticipation of an event.
Usage: “I’m fixin’ to go see a movie.

FLARES:  The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant.
Usage: “If yo wife’s mad at ya, it’s smart to take her some flares.

FUR:  (1) Measure of distance; (2) Because of or to indicate possession.
Usage:  (1) “It’s a fur piece ta Etlanna.”;  (2) “Fur yew ta get attair new car yew gotta go see Bubba bout a loan.

GOOD OLE BOY:  Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin’, huntin’, and good lookin’ women, but not necessarily in that order.
Usage: “Bubba’s a good ole boy.

GRIYUTS:  What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits.
Usage: “Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt on ’em, but Ah purely love ’em with red-eye gravy.

GUMMIT:  An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Them gummit boys shore are ignert!

HALE:  Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Etlanna.
Usage: “General Sherman said ”War is Hale“ and he made sure it was.

HAZE:  A contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah... haze ignert.

HEAVY DEW:  A request for action.
Usage: “Kin I heavy dew me a favor?

HEIDI: Greeting.
Usage: “Heidi all!

HEP:  To aid or benefit.
Usage: “Ah can’t hep it if Ah’m still in love with you.

HIRE YEW:  Remainder of greeting.
Usage: “Heidi. Hire yew?

HOD:  Not easy.

HOT:  A blood-pumping organ.
Usage: “A broken hot is hod to fix.

IDINIT:  Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain’t.
Usage: “Mighty hot today, idinit?

IGNERT:  Not smart.
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!

JAWJUH:  A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.

JEET:  Have you recently had a meal?
Usage: “Jeet yet?

JEW:  Did you.
Usage: “Jew want to buy attair comic book, son, or just stand there and read it here?

JU HERE:  A question.
Usage: “Ju here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?

KUMPNY:  Guests.
Usage: “Be home on time. We’s havin’ kumpny for supper.

LAW:  Police, or as Southerners pronounce it, “PO-leece”.
Usage: “We better get outta here. That bartender’s doen called the law.

LIKKER:  Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white kind that federal authorities frown upon.
Usage: “Does he drink? Listen, he spills more likker than most people drink.

LOT:  Luminescent.
Usage: “I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair.

MASH:  To press, as in the case of an elevator button.
Usage: “Want me to mash yo floor for you, Ma’am?

MUCHABLIGE:  Thank you.
Usage: “Muchablige for the lift, mister.

MUNTS:  A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.

NAWTHUN:  Anything that is not Southern.
Usage: “He is a classic product of the superior Nawthun educational system.

OVAIR:  In that direction.
Usage: “Where’s yo paw, son?” “He’s ovair, suh.

PHRAISIN:  Very cold.
Usage: “Shut that door. It’s phraisin in here.

PLUM:  Completely.
Usage: “Ah’m plum wore out.

RANCH:  A tool.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.

RATS:  Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willing to fight for are rats.

REPAIR:  See FIX

RETARD:  To stop working.
Usage: “My granpaw retard at age 65.

RETCH:  To grasp for.
Usage: “The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught the ball.

SAAR:  The opposite of sweet.
Usage: “These pickles Sure are saar.

SEED:  Past tense.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City... view?

SHOVELAY:  A GM car.
Usage: “Nobody could drive a Shovelay like Junior Johnson.

SINNER:  Exact middle of.
Usage: “Have you been to the new shoppin’ sinner.

SQUARSH:  A vegetable; To flatten.
Usage: “Warsh that squarsh, Bubba... you don’t know where its been!

SUGAR:   A kiss.
Usage: “Come here and give me some sugar.

TAR:  A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.

TAR ARNS:  A tool employed in changing wheels.
Usage: “You cain’t change a tar without a tar arn.

TARRED:  Exhausted; fatigued.
Usage: (1) “I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.”;  (2) “Ah’m too tarred to go bowlin’ tonight.

TIRE:  A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.

TUMP:  To pour accidentally.
Usage: “You be careful with that bowl of cereal; you about to tump it over.

UHMURKIN:  Someone who lives int he United States of Uhmurka.
Usage: “Thomas Jefferson was a great Uhmurkin.

VIEW:  Contraction.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City... view?

WAR:  Metal strands attached to posts to enclose domestic animals.
Usage: “Be careful and don’t get stuck on that bob war.

WARSH:  To clean.
Usage: “Warsh that squarsh, Bubba... you don’t know where its been!

WHUP:  To beat or to strike.
Usage: “OOOEEE!!! Yer mama’s gonna whup you fer sayin’ a cuss word.

YANKEE SHOT:  A Southern child’s navel.
Usage: “Momma, what’s this on mah belly?” “That’s yo Yankee Shot.

YUNKTOO:  Would you like to?
Usage: “I’m fixin’ to go see a movie - yunktoo?

ZAT:  Is that.
Usage: “Zat yo dawg?



see also   Language,  Phrase  &  Redneck  Sections

When the guard dog is also the top dog
Dog Terrace
Energiser Bunny caught and charged
Busted
Baring it all in the emergency room
The Toilet Seat
The Force is strong in this one
Star Wars Baby
It's a monkey thing...
I Finally Know Why
Bubba has to remember to take off the safety before he sits down
Texas Rocking Chair
Just a small hole in the runway
'One Brick Short' Runway
Online hand analysis - free palmistry advice
A Woman's Hands
Wilbur forgot to get rust protection for his body piercing
Tattoo Fountain
Getting out of the parking space was easy...
Parking Forever
Uncovering the true Director
Hats Off
Some dogs come with built-in names
Dog Named Dick
What an awesome idea!
See-Thru Windows
Quenching Grampa's thirst
Cup of Tea
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious
Voted #1 Humor Site

22-Feb-2012

QR Code

Top Joe-ks

Phrases, Expressions & ...
Cat Physics
Anger Management
Shimmy Car-nage
Stick Humour
License (Licence) Plate ...
Perfectly Groomed Love ...
Most Expensive Car Wrec ...
Homerisms
Elastic Baby - Family S ...
Bumper Stickers - Large ...
'Thinking Outside The B ...
Inspirational Quotes
Road Hugging Tire
Rubik's Cube Jigsaw Puz ...
Roast Joe-ks
Hillbilly Overalls
Rotating Illusion - Pin ...
Expired Parking
Smart Car Redesign
Funny Book Titles
Riddles from joe-ks.com
Best of the Oscar Wilde ...
Weird Lincoln and Kenne ...
Google Headquarters
Manmade Beach in Japan
What Do You Call A Guy ...
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Steven Wright Quotes
World's 1st All-Glass U ...
Piranha on Steroids
Mission Statement Gener ...
Hand Face
Chicken, Fox & Grain Pu ...
For Sale – One Useles ...
Toasts & Introductions ...
Fireman Mouth
Grand Prix Roller Blade ...
Newfie English Dictiona ...
World's First Hybrid Mo ...
John Deere Lawnmover
Birthday Joe-ks
Fortune Cookies - In Be ...
Canadian Kiss
Y'Allbonics (Southern S ...
Can You Spot the K-Mart ...
Big Texas Rattlesnake
Home Security - South A ...
Redneck 101 - How To Sp ...
Credits & Honourable Me ...
Murphy's Law + ... Rule ...
Comfortable Guard Dog
A Dog's Worst Nightmare
McDonalds Reaches Afric ...
Cat Tattoo
Two Cow Capitalism
Stretch Exercises You C ...
Bad English Translation ...
Hyphenated Names
Hot Rod Yellow
World’s Tallest Woman
Redneck Love Poem
Humourous Puns
Holiday Joe-ks
Alaska Marriage License
Jet-Powered Barbecue
Chocolate Math
Mexican School Bus
Redneck Joe-ks
Mobile Riddles from joe ...
Japanese Deck Torpedoes
Proof That 7 x 13 Equal ...
Graphic Auto Accident
Military Humour
Things That Took Me Ove ...

G'Oldies

Cow Walking
Understanding Women
Copy & Paste Twins
Redneck Manicure
Michael Phelps - In The ...
Hopscotch for Seniors
Smart Car Redesign
Poor Fishing Day
Stealth Readers
Romantic Table
Fleas NaviDogs Wanna Wi ...
Goat Power
Eddie the Eagle's Farew ...
Manager Meal
An Old Man's Dying Requ ...
Animal Tested
Pet Lobsters
Tall Guy Bike
Polish Paramedics
Redneck Fish Finder
Sweet & Sour for the Si ...
Push Door
For Sale, Due To Market ...
Almost Everything's Big ...
'Back' To Work
Sinking Feeling
Never Argue With A Woma ...
Redneck B&B
Football Chicks
Grad Prom in a Stretch ...
Bullet Rings
Confident Motorcyclist ...
Harlie's Angel
Autumn Illusion
Play Cat
Toddler Dance
Sumo Fault
My Valentine
Columbia Street Party
George Carlin Quotes
Saskatchewan Entreprene ...
Hardworking Wife
Maid Dust
Frequent FlyHair
Stretch Limo
Nagging Wife
Golf Gimme
Chair Skiing - Redneck ...
Fried Eggs - Military S ...
Redneck Fire Hose Rodeo
Moroff Manager
BP Surfing
Ireland Declares War On ...
Math Puzzle
IRS Toothpaste
All Divorces Start With ...
Bird Watcher
Wayne's Fish
New Year's Kiss
BlondeStar - Emergency ...
They Found Your Balls
Farmer’s Pond Advice ...
Dear Abbey
Keyboard Wedding
Other Door
Antique Regifting
Early Christmas School ...
Musical Throne
Newfie Screech
Redneck Snowmobile
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Cat Flap - a Toast For ...
World's Shortest Fairy ...
Home Depot Delivery
Dear Deer Yarn

Captions

Tattoo Fountain
Supervised Motorcycle W ...
Hot Air Oven
Dinner Around The Corne ...
Cartographer
Tire-d Workers
Fish Walker
Always Enough TP
Mane Spray
Push Door
Split Beach Personality
Wave Pools in India
Money Head
Gecko Earring
Land Surfing
Vatican Window Cleaners
Mountain TV
Redneck Manual
Bench Fishermen
Downhill Cycling
Alien Seating
Spaghetti Topping
Laundry Load
Cheap Flight
Elephant Ludo
Redneck Tricycle
Winter Laundry
Snowplow For Seniors
Lion Tail Tale
Looking Ahead
Boat Man
World's First Binary Si ...
Left Hanging
Head Loose Socket
Hot Air Balloon Dominoe ...
Armpit Inspectors
Elephant Enema
Redneck Windshield Wipe ...
Plain Plane Seat
Unlikely Friends
Laptop Security
Pipe Pants
Facial Hair
Company Escape Clause
River Crossing
Face Plant
Pour Picture
Long Kiss
Not You!
Teeter TottHer
Camel Bike
Cloth Road
ShareWhere Bathroom
Tingue
Ski Bathroom
Redneck Spare Tire
Car Shoelusion
News With A View
Too Much Homework?
Camel Pumps
Swimming Helmet
Benchquet
Tea Arc
But Why, Officer?
Hand Soap
Pink Pet
Fish Face
Pelican-Eat-Dog World
Bathroom Diving
Caught Cat
Redneck Halloween
Redneck TP Holder
Just Hatched
Doves Forever
Warm Sweater