[Ways Thanksgiving might have gone down during Biblical Times...]

7. Terrible chariot jams on the way to Grandma's house;

6. Young Israelite boys with slingshots shooting at the giant inflatable Caesar balloons which highlight every Phatama's Thanksgiving day parade (Phatama, a holiday tradition for 60 years);

5. You think 4 days of turkey leftovers get old? Imagine roasting a camel... “Would you like the hump or a leg?”;

4. No meal would be complete without an appetizer tray consisting of kumquat dip, those little round sausages that everybody likes but don't know what they're called, and Kentucky fried dove;

3. Ahkmed Seltzer, helping heartburn sufferers for 3 score and 7 years;

2. Men bonding after dinner while watching rip roaring gladiator games on TV; and

1. Women suddenly having the urge to go to the Jerusalem manufacturers' marketplace the next day.