Chicken Literacy

Beware of chickens in public libraries


A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, “Buk Buk BUK.”
The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says, “Buk Buk BuKKOOK!”
The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, “Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!”

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what’s happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog kept repeating, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit...”


QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. - African Proverb

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. - Jorge Luis Borges

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. - Cicero

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed - and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet. - Robertson Davies

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


see also   Animal,  Language  &  Pun  Sections
Big Bird Feeder
Chicken Farm Wedding
Chicken Photobomb
Chicken Pie
Chicken Rider
Chicken Shoes
Chicken Wire Art
Comfortable Chicken
Fast Beach Chicken
Free Chicken Strips
High Wire Bear Feeder
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
Hummingbird Feeder
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Polish Chicken Farm
Redneck Bird Feeder
Redneck Chicken Farmer
Things That Taste Like Chicken

 

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20-Nov-2017