Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Love is the poetry of the senses. - Honore de Balzac

I want to make a poem of my life. - Yukio Mishima

The poetry of earth is never dead. - John Keats

A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

This poem will never reach its destination. - Voltaire

You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat. - Robert Frost

She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx. - Laini Taylor

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

The dark night was the first book of poetry, and the constellations were the poems. - Chet Raymo

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin


see also   ChristmasFood  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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10-Dec-2017