Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Love is the poetry of the senses. - Honore de Balzac

A poem begins with a lump in the throat. - Robert Frost

A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat. - Robert Frost

She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx. - Laini Taylor

Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings. - W H Auden

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. - Walt Whitman

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. - Adrian Mitchell

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. - Robert Frost

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18


see also   ChristmasFood  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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19-Jun-2019