IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Exercise to help you prepare for this year’s taxes!



IRS Middle Class Pain-full Pencil Sharpener

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened?  Can you spell “politicians”?


QuotaBills
Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country. - Dick Gregory

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.
I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. - Will Rogers

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Finance,  Government,  Ouch  &  Stress  Sections
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New IRS Form
Pay Your Taxes
Revenue Canada Simplified Tax Form
The Importance of Tax Return Accuracy

 

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16-Oct-2017