IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Exercise to help you prepare for this year’s taxes!



IRS Middle Class Pain-full Pencil Sharpener

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened?  Can you spell “politicians”?


QuotaBills
Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? - George Carlin

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Finance,  Government,  Ouch  &  Stress  Sections
Constipated Mathematician
New IRS Form
Pay Your Taxes
Revenue Canada Simplified Tax Form
The Importance of Tax Return Accuracy

 

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17-Dec-2017