IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Exercise to help you prepare for this year’s taxes!



IRS Middle Class Pain-full Pencil Sharpener

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened?  Can you spell “politicians”?


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

Taxes are the dues that we pay for the privilege of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill


see also   Finance,  Government,  Ouch  &  Stress  Sections
Constipated Mathematician
New IRS Form
Pay Your Taxes
Revenue Canada Simplified Tax Form
The Importance of Tax Return Accuracy

 

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25-May-2017