Scottish Water

Scotsman lending a helping hand to a Brit?

Don’t mess with the Scots


A man was walking through the hills and dales of Scotland.

He stopped for a drink at a mountain stream.

An old shepherd shouted to him, “Dinna take a draught oot o the riffle, laddie; ’tis poorly wi’ the dregs o ma cattle.”
(Translation: don’t drink the water, sir; it’s full of cow dung)

The man said, “I’ll have you know I’m English. Please address me with the English language, you heathen.”

The shepherd replied, “I said use both hands. You will be able to get more in your mouth.”


QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Nationality  Section
Scottish Choices
Welcome To Scotland

 

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20-Sep-2019