Father Load

Father of the Year

A little prevention goes a long way


A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?”

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”


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The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell


see also   Family  &  Kids  Sections
 

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20-May-2019