Father Load

Father of the Year

A little prevention goes a long way


A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?”

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”


QuotaBills
I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

Children aren’t happy without something to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan


see also   Family  &  Kids  Sections
 

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23-Jul-2019