Shot my first turkey yesterday.
Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section.
It was awesome.
Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo
Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. - Winston Churchill
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you've wanted to do so badly. - Charles Lindbergh
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx
Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump
What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot! - William Wordsworth
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
Hunting & Thanksgiving Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Turkey Day
How To Cook A Turkey
Ode To A Turkey
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
Redneck Bucket List
Nail Polish for Dogs
Redneck Repair Kit
Redneck Wine Rack
Domino Telephone Booths