Zombie Survival Guide

Guide to complete protection from the living dead

How a cat survives post-Halloween stress



Zombie Survival Guide

QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

I like you but if Zombies chase us, I'm tripping you. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden. - James Herbert

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


see also   Cat  &  Survivor  Sections
Boat Safety
Zombie Response Team

 

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles

An Evening Prayer

Old Man Winter

F18 Mid-Air Collision

Rickshaw Workout

Texting Abbreviations for the Elderly

Restaurant Wait-er

Elphinstone Hike, Roberts Creek

Fishing Limit

Whose Problem

Redneck Firewall

Only In India

Triangle Lake Hike, Half Moon Bay

'Stay Out Of My Way' Bus

Chinese Sudoku Puzzles

Digging Up A Date

Soames Hill Park Hike, Gibsons

Line Driver

Canadian Polo

Little Drinking Problem
Submissions by Idske Mulder, The NetherlandsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

23-Mar-2017