White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

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21-Feb-2018