White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible. - Dan Quayle

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Hope is the anchor of the soul, the stimulus to action, and the incentive to achievement. - Unknown

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
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19-Oct-2017