White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Winning depends on where you put your priorities. It's usually best to put them over the fence. - Jason Giambi

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

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18-Jun-2018